Just a Midnight Rambling

It’s currently midnight and I’m going to be so tired tomorrow but I can’t sleep. It’s probably because I had a KickStart for breakfast and then by noon, I decided I wanted to drink the 3 cups of coffee I skipped this morning. Whatever the reason, here I am wide awake. I spent all day taking every thing out of 2 bedrooms, deep cleaning them and then rearranging kids. My 16-year-old needs his own space away from the little ones, so that’s what we did. I feel like that should have wore me out a bit but still, no, here I sit. The topic on my mind this evening.. trying to figure out how to be disciplined about eating healthy again.

I’m going to go grocery shopping tomorrow, IF I can get my grocery list done. I need to start meal prepping but it’s so freakin’ hard! Why!? I need to get my eating back on track. I did low carb for roughly 5 months and it was a breeze. It became a bit of a mental thing for me though, where I’d panic a bit if I was going over 10 a day and I just can’t do that. Not with working out the way I do. I thought I’d try Paleo but you can’t even have cheese. What kind of a life would I have without cheese!? I didn’t even know I liked it that much until I realized I couldn’t have it. Everyone says “just eat healthy”. Well, yeah. But why is that so hard? For me I need a very strict and detailed plan, something I can follow. But, I don’t want to eat brown rice, chicken and broccoli for the rest of my life either.

I’ve spent some time with one of my Crossfit trainers talking about nutrition. He makes it sound so easy but once I leave, I have no idea what I’m doing. He recommends the Paleo diet for me as well but said if I want butter or cheese, to have it. Not to freak out about minor details because in the long run if I’m eating healthy, it really isn’t going to make that big of a difference. The problem with that for me is… if I “don’t freak out about it” then it becomes easier and easier for me to eat a little worse all the time.

I realize my problem is waiting until I get hungry. I need to have a bunch of stuff made at the beginning of the week and that way I can eat throughout the day instead of waiting until the last minute and then I don’t feel like cooking. I wonder if there’s a Paleo For Dummies book πŸ™‚ I constantly see that meme that says something about diet being 80% and exercise being 20%. I work my ass off in my Crossfit classes, it’s frustrating that I’m doing it for nothing when I eat like shit afterwards. So it’s not for NOTHING exactly but you know what I mean.

So tomorrow. I’m gonna stop drinking coffee. I fill up on 3-4 cups in the morning and then I don’t drink any water throughout the day really. This isn’t ideal obviously. Then, I’m going to go grocery shopping and get my life together πŸ™‚ wish me luck.

P.S. I realize, I accomplished nothing with this post. But maybe just by putting it down on paper (or typing on a blank screen) and putting it out in the universe, I’ll hold myself a little more accountable. Maybe. πŸ™‚

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